I cockslap morals
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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