i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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