well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
