talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
