cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
