Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize