So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
