If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
