Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
