Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
