I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
