im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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