wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
