Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
