I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
