This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
