Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
