You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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