awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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