Already got asked if we're dating
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
