somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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