a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
