is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize