I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
