I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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