I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
