It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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