I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
