You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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