i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize