im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
