ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
