Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize