my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
