having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it was like eating out sand paper
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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