Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
