Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize