WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
