i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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