Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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