I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
