he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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