Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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