maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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