i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
