i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
