Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
