I'm really into asian looking animals
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
