so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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