i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
