yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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