Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
