"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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