On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
