No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
a search helicopter?!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
