so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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