Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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