I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I deserve this hangover.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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