Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
