i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
