Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
