Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
