Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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