Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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