And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
