he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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