Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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