Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
