don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize