No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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