she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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