She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
