Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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