She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
