when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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