you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
