what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
