So drunk its hurt
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
