i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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