In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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