Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize