similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Terrible idea I love it
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